The 39/19/33 Computer Scientist: Barbie Gets a New Job

In case you didn’t hear, Barbie’s into roll play.

Admittedly, I was that sexually curious little kid who stripped my dolls of their clothes to pretend they were doing the nasty; in all seriousness, Barbie gets around. But not in the way you might think.

Mattel’s darling blonde bombshell just switched jobs for the 125th time in fifty years. She’s been every thing from a police officer to an aerobics instructor and now…(cue drum roll)… she will be a news anchor and, this is the best one: a computer scientist!

She really does it all, doesn’t she? And, all the while, looking so good.

The “dismantle the patriarchy” angel on my shoulder just whispered something to me about how I should actually feel sorry for Barbie. Supposedly she suffers from “super woman” syndrome, a cultural backlash that infects women with an urge to be everything to everyone and leave no time for themselves? Whatever that means.

But the corporate folks at Mattel claims the “I Can Be…” Barbie serves a purpose to girls as they grow. “Role play becomes real play,” the PR dude says. “ They’re able to experience this amazing world of possibility and imagination, all without leaving home!” To be fair, in her days as an astronaut Barbie landed on the moon four years before any man walked its surface. In the 1980s, she broke the “plastic ceiling” when she took to the boardroom as “Day to Night” CEO Barbie. She even ran for president before Hillary Clinton—the ultimate Super Woman—ever made it onto the ballot. Co-option-much? No! Never.

All this on-the-job experience has made Barbie an excellent networker. To celebrate her 125th career this year, she’s launched a global campaign to inspire girls by partnering with The White House Project and Take Our Daughters And Sons To Work Foundation. The taking kids to work thing makes sense, but what is The White House Project? That could be anything…

As it turns out, The White House Project is working to ignite a national movement to encourage the next generation of female leaders. Okay, okay. I can go with that. But then we get to this: the project’s mission is “add women, change everything.”

Has the “add under-represented groups and stir” approach ever worked? I guess it’s up to Barbie to decide. She seems to be calling all the shots around here these days.

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